Sunday, August 30, 2009

If Toddler's Could Write: Advice Column #1

If something doesn't go your way, roll your lower lip down as foreshadowing.

If possible, eek out a few crocodile tears to make your eyes look dewy.

Then, take a deep breath and give it your best howl.

Chances are, once you start howling, your tears will start flowing more naturally, which adds to the drama and can increase effectiveness.

Someone will come give you attention.

Success rate of getting your way with this technique: 37% (42% with extra tears)

4 comments:

Trekking Left said...

Column #2 -

Keep mom on her toes by saying "no" in response to every question and/or command. This will result in an over abundance of joy the next time you say "yes" or "okay." Limit the use of this tactic, though ... you don't want to be greedy.

Queen Whackamole said...

... This also works for dads.

George said...

I tried this at my job today. Did not work.

Kristin Anderson said...

Well, the odds WERE against you. I'll let Ezra know that for future FUTURE reference.