Monday, January 29, 2007

The third arm

I'm waiting to grow the third arm I was told about. No, I'm not volunteering for long range radar gun experiments
and I don't live next door to a nuclear facility. I'm talking about motherhood and how this third arm is supposed to develop so I don't have to type one handed, so I can have a two-handed grip on my garden burger, while that third arm, with a dexterious hand appendage can hold the baby. I guess the third arm is like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny--fantasy to temporarily help you through life transitions--I am a little relieved I must say. I was wondering where to buy three armed tops, and I was thinking sleeping might also have its challenges. . .

Monday, January 22, 2007

That tranistion you hear so much about

On January 12, 2007, Ezra Cole entered the world and changed at least two people's lives forever. With help, from capable doctors, an amazing maternity ward staff, and support and keen interest from friends and family, he has shifted into his second week of life quite nicely.

This experience has taught me many things, but from a larger point of view, I have a reinforced respect for one aspect of my culture --modern medicine, contemporary medical procedures and other professionals who made the birth possible in the first place (woulda most likely died in a third world country without cesarian capabilities). My agrarian visions of giving birth naturally in a self supporting eco village quickly disappeared when the doctors told me what could have happened if I gave birth naturally.

And on a much more basic level, I have discovered that yes, indeed, there is love at first sight. An amazing rush of love that consumes you (I know someone out there thinks its just hormones) and takes ahold of you in a way that I can only compare to passages of rapture I've come across in my days of the holy spirit consuming you and blinding you in an unimaginable love and humility. So love, in this maternal case, feels very spiritual.

I've got 10 minutes before the little man wants it. So signing off for now!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

One more day til motherhood

As many of my friends and family know, tomorrow I am scheduled for a cesarian birth, and thus the official beginning of motherhood. I have many preconceived notions of motherhood, books I've read, relationships I've observed, my own experience with my mother, my husband's experiences with his mother. All of these ideas are free floating inside of my head, yet at the same time, there is an inner calm. It will come. I will become a mommy.

How recent is the phenomenon of choosing a date to become parents? As I recall from a recent article in the New Yorker on cesarian births, more and more women in developed nations are opting for cesarians, and more and more doctors are turning to cesarian births when natural pregnancy poses problems--such is our case. Doctors also push for a cesarian to avoid potential lawsuits, and knowing the litigious nature of American society, I don't blame them. Some of my European friends look upon me with pity, that I can not experience natural childbirth. I look upon the experience as a miracle. It is through this process that my life and the life of the baby will not be threatened. It is not fool safe. A million things could still go wrong, but statistically speaking, we are in good hands.

No one can tell us what it will be like, as one thing that is for sure--we are all individuals and will have our own experience as parents. I am looking forward to it!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Introducing Aguayo Shed

Aguayo is the maiden name of my paternal grandmother Mercedes and her wild sister Ta, both born somewhere in Mexico on the legendary ranch of Uisamopa. Their father owned a silver mine. Their large family fled to Los Angeles during the Mexican Revolution between 1910 and 1916 when the ranch was taken over by the people. Despite a good 9 inch difference in our heights (me being the taller), and my pale, freckled skin, I related to these two little, fiercely strong women, and feel most connected with their heritage. Although they have both since left this earth, their presence in my formative years has helped shaped my ideology--including beliefs that developed in opposition to theirs. I thus take the name "Noelle Aguayo" as my blog persona.

Aguayo shed is viewed as a place for me to wood shed on my ideas and share them with friends and an unknown public. Here goes!